Let all that I am praise the Lord

It’s been a little over a week living in a new home without my sister. I feel removed from my team, and from people in general. In reality, I have very little time to myself, but I’m always amazed at how possible it is to feel lonely surrounded by people.

I have especially felt estranged these past few days because I got sick for the third time this trip. I guess without the explanation it would suffice to say I’ve been a bit overwhelmed lately; but I’ve prayed and cried to God.

Some of my prayers reminded me of the book of Psalms, so I decided to seek encouragement from a psalm which also cries out to God. Instead, God led me to Psalm 103, a psalm that doesn’t include a single verse of lament.

Let all that I am praise the Lord.

This mess of a body that keeps getting sick

Let all that I am praise the Lord.

This twisted tongue and mind that struggle to speak a new language

Let all that I am praise the Lord.

This heart that aches for family and fellowship 4,000 miles away.

Let all that I am praise the Lord.

With my whole heart I will praise his holy name. (v. 1)

Even though it breaks for things I cannot change, for people I cannot hold, for places I cannot be, my whole heart sings praises to God.

Though I’m tempted to fall apart, I refuse to forget in times of weakness the greatness of my God. Saving me from the death I deserved is reason enough to praise Him at all times, but He is so much more.

He crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things (Psalm 103:4b-5a).

Good things. I’ve already listed in previous posts many good things God has filled my life with. Yes, my life is full of many “good things.”

But when I’m sick, sad, or exhausted I can’t help but wonder if it’s also good. Because something feels bad, does that mean it is? Since God is good, and I’m seeking Him, and nothing happens that God doesn’t allow, then I’m confident this pain is for good.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them (Romans 8:28).

I can’t even label what I’m experiencing as bad because God has promised that it will all work together for good. All the more reason to let all that I am praise the Lord!